Choose Yourself: A Love Letter to Women Who Are Tired of Shrinking

For so long, women have been taught—directly and indirectly—to put themselves last. Be accommodating. Be agreeable. Be everything to everyone. Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that choosing ourselves was selfish, dramatic, or unkind.

It’s not.

Choosing yourself is one of the bravest, healthiest, and most life-changing decisions a woman can make.

What “Choose Yourself” Really Means

Choosing yourself doesn’t mean ignoring others or living without care. It means honoring your needs as much as you honor everyone else’s. It means listening to your inner voice instead of constantly seeking permission or validation.

It looks like:

• Saying no without over-explaining
• Walking away from situations that drain your peace
• Prioritizing rest without guilt
• Pursuing dreams even when they scare you
• Trusting yourself, even when others doubt you

Choosing yourself is not a single decision—it’s a daily practice.

Why Women Struggle to Choose Themselves?

Many women are raised to believe their value lies in how useful, pleasing, or self-sacrificing they are. We’re praised for endurance, not boundaries. For patience, not honesty. For being “low maintenance,” not fully expressed.

Over time, this conditioning creates guilt:

• Guilt for resting
• Guilt for wanting more
• Guilt for changing
• Guilt for outgrowing people

But growth requires change. And change often requires choosing yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable.

The Cost of Not Choosing Yourself

When you consistently abandon your needs, it shows up in quiet but powerful ways:

• Burnout and exhaustion
• Resentment toward people you love
• Loss of identity
• Feeling stuck or invisible
• A constant sense that something is missing

You cannot pour from an empty cup—but more importantly, you were never meant to be emptied.

Choosing Yourself Is an Act of Self-Respect

Self-respect is built in small moments:

• When you stop tolerating disrespect
• When you rest before you’re exhausted
• When you speak up instead of staying silent
• When you let go of what no longer aligns

Every time you choose yourself, you reinforce the belief that your life matters—not just as a role you play for others, but as a person with desires, limits, and dreams.

You Don’t Have to Be Ready

Many women wait to choose themselves until they feel confident, healed, or certain. But choosing yourself often creates those things.

You don’t need to have everything figured out. You just need to start listening.

Start small:

• Take the break you keep postponing
• Have the honest conversation about how you truly feel
• Reflect on the boundaries you would like to establish
• Do one thing everyday exclusively for yourself

Momentum builds through courage, not perfection.

Choosing Yourself Inspires Others

When one woman chooses herself, she gives silent permission for others to do the same. Daughters learn. Friends notice. Communities shift.

Choosing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s leadership. It’s modeling a life rooted in authenticity instead of obligation.

A Reminder for You

You are allowed to change. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to want more. You are allowed to walk away. You are allowed to take up space.

Choose yourself—not once, but again and again. Because the woman you become when you do is worth meeting.

- Namrta Mohan, Founder Talk Heals Psychotherapy (RP)