Postpartum- an invisible battle of new mothers

When I found out that I was pregnant with my first child, my joy knew no bounds. Me & my husband and our families were thrilled. There was this absolutely glorified version of the journey of pregnancy to childbirth. I was in my ‘la la land’, based of on what I saw on social media, new mom’s glow, photo shoots with new born, and in other words everything will be just easy breezy. I was hoping for me to feel nothing but utmost happiness and have plethora of energy to be this excited fun mom. However, the reality was drastically different.

As a therapist I knew about postpartum but didn’t expect to be hit by it, given I’m a therapist. In addition to having had wonderful support system in family. I guess, I was wrong.

Postpartum mental health challenges became my reality, but was invisible to everyone else. Just as for many women, the weeks and months after childbirth can feel overwhelming, isolating, and emotionally confusing; here I was sailing in the same unpleasant boat. My mind and body felt out of sync. I felt under the control of my hormones, physical recovery felt very distant, sleep deprivation was constant, and I was experiencing brain fog like never before.

I would cry out of nowhere, I would snap for no reason, felt guilty for not being good enough in any of my roles in life, second guessing myself was becoming my way of life, I couldn’t help by being angry, frustrated, and frustrated for most of the time. My spouse was bearing the brunt of it all the most.

I reached out to my physician and she indicated the possibility of me being hit by postpartum depression and anxiety. My first response was that of denial. It couldn’t happen to me, I am the therapist after all. However, mental health issues don’t discriminate. Hers what postpartum depression / anxiety looks & feel like:

• Persistent sadness or emptiness
• Overwhelming emotional or panic
• Difficulty bonding with the baby
• Feelings of guilt, shame, or inadequacy
• Extreme fatigue or loss of energy
• Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed

These experiences often remain hidden because many mothers feel pressure to appear strong and happy.

Research shows:

• Nationally, about 1 in 8 women experience symptoms of postpartum depression after giving birth. However, this rate can be as high as 1 in 5 women in some U.S. states.
• Postpartum depression often lasts 3 to 6 months, but its duration can vary significantly based on individual factors and access to treatment.
• It is estimated that nearly 50% of mothers experiencing postpartum depression are not diagnosed by a health professional.
• With appropriate treatment and support, up to 80% of individuals with postpartum depression achieve a full recovery.
• In Canada, about 1 in 6 mothers experience a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, including postpartum depression.
• Nearly 50% of mothers experiencing postpartum depression are never formally diagnosed or treated.

(https://www.postpartumdepression.org/resources/statistics/)

These statistics reveal a powerful truth: postpartum depression is way more common than we think, and it is not a personal failure. It is a health condition that affects millions of women every year.

All the wonderful women I have worked with in the domain of postpartum depression and anxiety have shared these 5 common themes of why new moms suffer in silence:

1. Lack of empathy:

When a new mom tries to voice the discomfort of postpartum, she’s usually shut down with statements like, “women have been giving birth for centuries, it’s not a big deal.” More than we would like to believe words from mothers, mothers-in-law or elder ladies are, “we also gave birth to our children, we bounced back so quickly. We were taking care of our new born and managing household at the same time. You are exaggerating this”. Hence, new moms find it easier to struggle in silence then feel dismissed and humiliated.

2. The Pressure to Be the “Perfect Mother”

Society often paints motherhood as naturally fulfilling. When mothers experience emotional distress, they may feel ashamed or fear being judged.

3. Lack of Awareness

Many women—and even some families—do not recognize the signs of postpartum depression.

4. Fear of Judgment

Some mothers worry that admitting their struggles might lead others to question their ability to care for their child.

5. Isolation

The early months of motherhood can be isolating, especially when mothers spend long hours caring for a newborn with little adult interaction.

All these factors can make it difficult for women to seek help.

The Turning Point: Finding Support Through Psychotherapy

One of the most important gift that as a new mom you can give to yourself is reach out for professional support of psychotherapist.

Talking to a trained therapist creates a safe space where you can express your feelings honestly without fear of judgment and not have to suffocate yourself while trying to keep up facade of everything being ‘hunky dory’.

Psychotherapy will help you:

• Understand that what you are experiencing is as natural as giving birth.
• Learn strategies to manage anxiety and overwhelming emotions
• Reframe the unrealistic expectations that you have placed on yourself
• Reconnect with your sense of identity beyond motherhood
• Bring others expectations in check
• Build healthier support system
• Strengthen your self-esteem
• Build emotional resilience

Perhaps most importantly, therapy will help you realize that you’re not alone.

Postpartum mental health challenges are treatable, and recovery is possible with the right support. When mothers receive the support they need, both they and their children benefit.

Recovery from postpartum depression does not happen overnight, but with support, understanding, and compassionate care, healing is absolutely possible.

Today, I can look back on that difficult period with greater clarity and compassion for myself. It has definitely strengthened me as a therapist, and I have been successfully helping many new moms to smoothly sail through postpartum and enjoy motherhood.

If you are a new mother struggling right now, please know:

You are not alone. Your feelings are valid. And help is available.

Postpartum mental health deserves the same attention and compassion as physical recovery after childbirth.

By speaking openly about these experiences and recognizing the power of psychotherapy, we can create a world where mothers feel supported rather than judged.

Motherhood does not have to be perfect.

It only needs to be human.

If you are struggling with postpartum, reach out today to schedule your 30 minutes virtual consultation. There is no fee to this. Let me help you. 😊

-Namrta Mohan

Registered Psychotherapist, Canada